I'm sick again. For second time in 2 weeks. This time it is quite serious. Even more than the last time. This makes me feel hollow because I have no energy to even get up from my bed. I hate this state for more than one reason. Firstly it brings painful memories from my last operation. Second It makes me rethink one aspect or another of my past life and ... well,it just sucks, to be honest!
My blood cells are too low,so no more sport activities for me. And no other activities as well. I will have to lay in my bed in the middle of my last summer vacation and just do nothing. It may sound good but in reality is so boring and exhausting. My white blood cells are 1.5 times higher than normal and this causes fatigue, high temperature and headache.
Apart of that I have some inner doubts and because I have time to rethink them they take form. I can't describe my fears to their full extends but they consume me slowly. I miss my happy people, those people which presence makes my day joyful and worth living...
The only lovely thing in my life is a pair of greenish eyes...love ya, dzwer!